The thing with divorce is that it’s a prolonged process, a challenging journey. From day 1 to the declaration of decree absolute and beyond.
During this time, we, as warring parents, go through a myriad of emotions, ranging from short lived sheer ecstasy (when we think we have exerted our revenge or whatever) to downright depression (when we realise that we have lost all that we dreamed off) and anything in between.
If we as adults find it so hard and so painful an experience, let’s think of our little ones and try and see it from their perspective then we might begin to comprehend just how heavy a process it is for them too.
So when should you be concerned about how your child is coping with divorce or rather when should you consider getting help?
- if you notice that there is aggression and anger that is more than the norm. You alone will know what this means as you are your child’s expert.
- where there is regression i.e. your child is now exhibiting behaviour that he/she did or had when they were younger. This may include foods that they eat, bed-wetting, manner of speaking in the case of younger children for instance reverting back to using words or vocabulary that they used with much younger.
- Where your child seems or appears withdrawn i.e when he/she shows less interest in activities that they used to enjoy or/and reluctant to meet and play with others.
- When you begin getting calls from school regarding your child’s behaviour and performance. Has his/her level of concentration declined, is he/her getting more in trouble at school.
- If their eating habits have changed in a way that is not familiar to either of you. We know that children’s appetites are always changing but if you notice that you child is either eating a lot more or a lot less than they usually do, then they might need more support in dealing with the changes within the family.
- The same applies to sleeping – if they are sleeping more than usual or are reluctant to get out of bed or much less than they used to then you might consider seeking help for them.
Like I said, you are your child’s expert and only you will be able to tell if your child’s habits have changed drastically enough to cause you concern. If you are not sure then do ask someone who knows you child almost as well as you do including teachers, family and friends.
Do give me a call on 07850 85 60 66 if you would like to discuss any issues that might be causing you concern.