There’s so much to say on how to develop good positive parent-child relationship that there’s no way I would be able to cover everything here in one article.
Then again, there isn’t that much because the bottom line is that, once we stop trying to be perfect parents and put ourselves in our children’s shoes, then things can fall into place, slowly but surely.
Trying to be a perfect parent is a futile cause to take on. We will make mistakes because that’s just how it is. But when you do make a mistake and you realise that you have made a mistake, then it’s absolutely ok to apologise. Just by doing that you will be teaching your child a lot!
So, how can you develop a good positive parent-child relationship?
- Spend time with your child. This may sound quite obvious to some but did you know that it’s better to spend small amounts of time with your child often throughout the day than on great big block of time once in the or once in a while. When I say small amounts of time, these could be a short as 1 or 2 minutes. The most special moments are when they come to you to tell you something, ask for something, show you something or to do something with you. The moment when you stop what you are doing, if you can, get down to their eye level and spend time with them. If, for some reason, you cannot stop what you’re doing, then plan for a time with your child as soon as you can.
- Talk with your child: Again, this may sound obvious but when I say talk to your child, I mean actually talking with him or her about things that they are interested in, share ideas, discuss, listen and hold conversations. Doing this helps them learn to speak, listen and talk with others. How to wait your turn to say something, how to listen and how to respond to others. You will also be helping build their vocabulary and you know what, it makes them feel really good about how they are when you spend time just speaking with them. Having side-by-side conversation while working on something is a good time to get to know your child better especially with adolescents.
- Show affection: When it comes to developing a good positive parent-child relationship, the effects of showing affection is pretty underrated. I know of parents who find it difficult because they, themselves, were very rarely shown any affection. Understandable. But I think there is power in knowledge and showing physical affection by holding hands, touching, cuddling, kissing, hugging, tickling or just sitting close together can help children grow up feeling cared for, secure and loved.
- Be involved: Know what your child is interested in at the moment. Know how they are doing in school, with friends, where they have been and so forth. This is something that I urge separated parents to do for their children. Let the non-resident parent know what is happening in their child’s life. This helps your child and parent have some reference points of conversation which in turn makes the child feel loved, secure and taken care off by both parents.
- Play! It is much more than fun! There are different types play e.g. object play, imaginative play and rough and tumble play but what is so important to know when playing with your child is that by doing this, your child
cognitive, emotional and physical development happen during this time as does trust. Indeed, Stuart Brown, a play researcher has found that “the basis of human trust is established through play signals.”
- Be your child’s parent: There seems to be a new kind of movement where some parents feel the need to be their child’s best friend. Thing is, when we try to be something that we are not, we fail at some point. You can still be your child’s friend in a way that doesn’t blur the lines. Be firm, fair and friendly.
Hope these tips help you develop a good positive parent-child relationship. If you need a quick chat, let me know – 07850 85 60 66 or firstname.lastname@example.org
If you need help in managing problem behaviours with your child, do let me know. A 30 min chat can make big changes.