Divorce and Forgiveness – You probably don’t want to hear or read this but there is tremendous power in forgiveness!

Ok.  If you’re reading this then chances are that you are angry with someone somewhere on this mother earth planet of ours.

And maybe it’s not just one person, there could be several.

Now take a couple of minutes and just ask yourself, now that I have this anger and resentment in me towards this person, what is it doing to me?  How am I gaining from it?  And even more importantly, how is it hurting that person right now or ever?  Do they care that I have not forgiven them, that I am burning with anger towards them?  Or are they expecting it?

Now take another couple of minutes and ask yourself – “If I were to forgive them what would happen?”  “How would I feel?”  “How would it affect them?”

Very often we think that if we forgive then  the “perpetrator” or the person that has caused you offense has gotten away with whatever it is that they did to you.

We have sooooo often heard, “I can forgive but I won’t forget.”  But those are just words strung together to make a kind of pretty sentence – they don’t mean much.

But the question is “do you have emotional closure?”   And when you do remember whatever it is that the person did to you, because you will, how do you feel?  Does anger still rise up in you?  Most likely.  If so, do you still think you have forgiven?

Right now, you are probably thinking that you are justified to hate that ex spouse or partner.  And you probably are – but for how long?  And who the hate, anger and resentment affecting?  Does the other person lose ANY sleep knowing that you hate them and the you will not forgive them.  I don’t think so.  They most likely don’t care at all – to put it mildly.

Truth is hate, anger and resentment, change you.  They change your heart and your mind to such an extent that if you stepped out and looked at yourself from another angle, you might not recognise yourself or the person that you have become.

Now why would you think that hate, anger and resentment wouldn’t affect your physically let alone emotionally?  When you habour anger, hatred and resentment, your body’s chemical balance is dramatically disrupted.  Your “flight or fight” responses stay aroused twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.  That means that hatred, anger and resentment are absolutely incompatible with your peace, joy and relaxation.” Dr Phil

Apart from these emotions affecting you physically, emotionally and mentally then keep in mind, if you can, that because you are full of these negative and toxic emotions, then your behaviour will be affected so anyone you meet from here on, meets the angry, resentful person.  You can mask it all as much as you please but it will still come through in your actions and words, however subtle.

Ok, if you don’t believe me, how can you really truly give what you don’t have?  If someone you really cared about came over to you and asked, “Gosh I need a holiday.  Would you book one full-paid for me please?”  Most likely not, not because you don’t want to necessarily but because you don’t have the money to do it.

So, do think about it.  Do give yourself a new path to follow by letting go off the resentment, anger and hate.  Stop holding yourself hostage to the past by starting to forgive.

It is easier to start forgiving what happens today than what happened yesterday or a few years ago.

If someone cuts in front of you at the lights or something, let it go.  Tell him or her to go have their accident elsewhere.

Start forgiving what happens today, this very moment and what happened yesterday will start falling away too.

Soila

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