So Mother’s Day is here and you won’t be with your children once again or maybe for the first time since you and your ex separated.
Not at all an easy time but, at the risk of sounding unsympathetic, it is what it is.
I have been divorced twice and yes there have been times when I didn’t get to spend some important days with my girls and it hurt and I felt alone – it’s normal and it’s okay.
If you are in this situation for whatever reason, there are three things that you may want to try which I hope will help you cope better.
Firstly, make plans for the day. Whatever they are, so you wake up in the morning knowing what you’re going to do. This could be anything but it should be what you would like to do. If you want to get up and do nothing then do nothing in your home and stay in your pjs the rest of the day.
If binging on a TV series is what you would like to do, then go for it!
I recall one Christmas, where I didn’t have my girls during the whole holidays as they had gone out of the country so I planned my days. On Christmas day itself, I got up, had a fab Champagne breakfast. I then got really cozy on the sofa and started my Downton Abbey marathon!
I had bought good food and great wine and so for the next two days, 25th and 26th, I did nothing but watch and eat. I spoke with my girls and although they were concerned that I was on my own, I was able to tell them and show them that I was absolutely fine.
From 27th onwards, I went out and met with friends and did touristy London things that I have always wanted to do.
But if on Mother’s Day you would like to hang out with people then ask! But be sure to ask those whom you know are very, very unlikely to say no.
Finally, create your own Mother’s Day experience. Do something outside the home that you would like to do or have always wanted to do.
This year, I get to spend the day with my youngest child and her dad (my ex). If this wasn’t going to happen, I had planned to go hiking outside London for the day, because that is something I thoroughly enjoy.
So, if you are not with your children this coming Sunday, know that it is ok to feel sad about it but also realise that you can do something about it that will make you happy.
Whatever you decide to do, just let the children know that you are happy doing it. They will need to know that mummy is ok and you’re the only one who can show and tell them this. Believing that you are sad at home alone only makes them sad and I’m sure that’s not what you want for your little ones.
Happy Mother’s Day! Make sure you have one!!