Here’s our second part of the Triple P and Disobedience series. You will find part one on Why are Children Disobedient by clicking here
Struggling with getting your child to do as you ask?
Here are some Triple P Parenting Program tips to help you along the way. They work but you need to be patient and consistent. If you find that you are still struggling after putting them into practice for a while, then do contact me, all you may need is a tweak here and there.
Think about your instructions. Are they clear, direct and realistic i.e. are you asking your child to do something they are developmentally unable to? What about the timing of your instructions? Are they given when your child is already engaged in an activity? Remember not to give too many instructions.
Get close and gain your child’s attention. When you need your child to do something and you have already asked them once before, then stop what you’re doing, go over to them within an arms length, bend down to their eye level, call them by name to gain their attention and then tell them exactly what you would like them to do.
Tell your child exactly what you want them to do and this includes when you want the to stop doing something. For instance, “Tom, stop playing with the ball in doors and go out into the garden'” or “Amina, it’s nearly bedtime. Go and put on your pyjamas please.”
Give your child time to cooperate. When you give your child an instruction, give them around 5 seconds for them to start doing what you have asked. Stay close and watch him or her. They are more likely to act with you there than with you in the other room.
Praise you child for cooperating. “Why should I?” some parents have asked. Because it works. Praise, direct or otherwise, teaches your child how to behave and it goes a very long way in reinforcing this positive behaviour than punishment ever does. So do say something along the lines, “Naini, thank you for clearing the table straight away when I asked you to.” It makes them feel good and that means that, over time, they are more likely to repeat that behaviour than not.
Let me know how you get on.
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